Choosing Truth Over Feelings
Let me begin by saying this post is not political.
At least it isn’t meant to be, but it’s hard not to be thinking about the shifting landscape of politics considering the recent Inauguration. I’ll start by saying this - I am blessed to have dear friends on both sides of our current political fence, and we love each other despite our disagreement. It’s not lost on me that, for some, the past 7 days have been a breath of fresh air and a renewal of hope, and for others something more like confusion or even heartbreak. I don’t understand all of these feelings, but I think that’s okay for this moment. Feelings are for the people who feel them, and who am I to take away the space for people to feel?
However, though feelings are real, they are not always representative of the truth, and they were certainly never intended to take truth’s place. Existence of a feeling doesn’t validate our reason for feeling that way. Truth is the only real validator.
In fact, truth transcends our feelings, and that’s where I hope to sit today. In truth. With Jesus.
While on the phone with a friend this week, she was telling me a story about a disagreement with her colleagues. Over our choppy cell connection, these words came though, “What they were saying was true, but what I was saying was also true.” I’ve been thinking about this ever since, mulling it over, especially given the obvious polarity of this presidential election and the “them vs. us” mentality proliferating our news and social media feeds.
Maybe it is possible for two or more true things to exist and contradict one another.
Maybe neither truth is fully perfect because we mistake our truth for the truth.
Maybe it’s time we learned how to set down our feelings and hold the truth with both hands.
With all this thinking about truth, I decided to take to my Bible - the one place I know truth to live and breathe in perfection (although, admittedly, us humans can muddle it up - I’ll try my best not to do that today). I landed in Proverbs. Known for its repeated 1-2 punches of wisdom, I thought it would be a great place to sit with you.
In scripture, the word “heart” encompasses more than mere feelings - it represents the center of our consciousness, encompassing our mental processes, morality, and emotions (more on that here). It stands to reason, then, that both our feelings (or our truths) and the truth are held in our hearts, and it is our job to protect that space, to discern in that space, and in communion with God, make sure what is released from that space is good and true. In fact, Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
We live in a world where we can instantly share whatever is in our hearts, whether good or harmful, and I think this is where things get especially tricky for us. This culture of immediacy encourages fast (read: impulsive) reactions to the world around us, and the window of time for personal reflection is becoming increasingly narrow. We are expected to have an opinion on everything. Right now.
Without deep reflection and restraint, it is easy to let our feelings fly simply because they feel true to us in the moment. It is easy to post in anger about the outcome of this or that and parade that feeling around as the Gospel truth. It is easy to judge a situation based on the news article Facebook curated for you, and then leave a judgmental comment before moving down your feed. I know this because I’ve done it.
Yeah, maybe what I wrote was truth. But also, maybe it wasn’t.
There are many Proverbs about controlling our speech, but I think this one will do today, “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever is understanding is even tempered (17:27).” Knowledge and understanding come through study and reflection - we aren’t merely born with or blessed with them. We must pray, read our Bibles, and seek wise counsel. We must slow down and spend more time teasing our feelings from the truth. We must understand and control what is happening in our inner consciousness, so we can choose our words with wisdom and restraint. After all, “the tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21).
I’m not saying feelings are wrong or that we shouldn’t feel them. Absolutely we should have feelings, and no one has the right to take those from us. They are ours. However, we don’t have the right to force someone else to feel the things we do, either. As humans on this earth, we are responsible for the words we put into the world, and I hope we will endeavor to speak the truth rather than our truths.
Before we believe, may we investigate further.
Before we judge, may we reflect thoroughly.
Before we post, may we pause intentionally.
Before we speak, may we breathe deeply.
This does take a lot of work, but it’s work worth doing, and it’s a journey where God will happily walk with us. If we let Him, God will help us tease out our feelings from the truth and carry that truth to the fence that separates “us” from “them”, sharing with one another out of love, kindness, empathy, and the desire for growth. He will also teach us how to listen from that same place. This communion with our fellow humans is a choice, but if we do it, we will gain a fuller, deeper understanding of God’s love and design for our lives.
Though he passed when I was young, I know my grandfather - Boppy, as he was known to me - was a man after God’s heart. His favorite verses were Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Today, I’ll take a page from Boppy’s book, and I’ll put my trust in something bigger than my feelings. I’ll let the Lord rule my heart, and in doing so, I’ll be able to see his love for his people, discern through His perfect word, and let Him free me from my feelings, guiding me to the truth.
Like I said, this is hard work, but people are worth loving, so this is worth doing.
