Bustle, Brown Boxes, and New Beginnings
Since early in 2019, I’ve lived in four different homes in four different cities, soon to be five.
Lebanon, OH.
Nashville, TN.
Memphis, TN.
California, MD.
And less than two weeks from now, I will call Chenango Forks, NY home.
All this bustle and moving and change isn’t something I envisioned for my early 30s, but it’s where God has me now, and I will sit in it until it’s time to move, and then when I get where I’m going, I’ll be present there. That’s been the rhythm of things for the past few years - wait for a while; go now; wait again, but longer this time; go right now, immediately.
That’s also what my entire year of 2018 was like on my mission trip; I lived in 11 different countries that year - wait, go, wait, go, wait, go…
I’ve become something of an expert at moving. Meticulously sorting through belongings, asking myself questions like, “Do I really need this, do I really love this, and the ever popular, why do I even still have this?” Sometimes, I take out all of my clothes and organize them on the floor, wading through them category by category.
Let’s say I’ve allowed myself one small box for my sweaters, but currently, all of my sweaters won’t fit in the box. That means some have to go. I will sort them into piles and repack only my favorites, donating the rest. I’d feel dishonest if I didn’t share that sometimes the box is full to bursting, and I would have to press and strain to force it closed. Sometimes, I choose to force the tape on the too-full box and place it on top of the pile, its rounded, brown top on display because nothing can rest securely on top of it. Other times, I am more discerning, telling myself “Take out another sweater, Mia. The box will close better. Stack better. Travel better.”
It’s a closet cleansing either way, but the move goes better when my boxes are equally filled and easily stacked.
I am also beginning to wonder if that’s what God is doing with me - with all of us when we find ourselves in repeated seasons waiting and going. I wonder if He’s sizing down the boxes to help us choose only the most important things to carry with us on the next leg of our journey. I think He smiles when we try to shove too much into one box, knowing what our mistake will teach us, and He helps us pick up the pieces when it bursts during shipping. He’s helping us learn to hold onto what matters and let go of what doesn’t. He’s helping us to forgive, to serve, to prioritize and savor and cherish. We aren’t simply waiting for God to tell us to move; yes, we are staying in one place, but we are “sorting our sweaters”; we are choosing to keep what serves us, discard what doesn’t, learn from our successes or failures, and discover how to use our gifts to serve others.
And that’s just one box of sweaters.
There are so many things that God can help us cleanse and clarify, but ever the gentleman, He lets us pack one box at a time. Isaiah 40:31 tells us, “but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength” - that’s the ESV version; the NIV version replaces the word “wait” with “hope”. I think taking both of the words together gives a fuller picture of what it looks like to walk well in God’s strength rather than our own.
We wait.
We hope.
We grow.
We change.
We praise.
And then we do it all again, starting from a new place with the opportunity to pack our boxes differently for the season to come.
As I prepare for a new place to call home, I’ll be doing more than packing my tangible belongings - I’ll be thinking about the things that can’t go in boxes. I’ll take stock of my dreams, emotions, and fears, my memories and learnings and everything else, laying them out in my mind. Even amidst the bustle and change that comes with a physical move, I’ll partner with God and take time to sort through these intangible things, making sure I’m leaving behind what no longer serves me and carrying with me just what I need for my next adventure.
